Our Global Society After The Internet is Finished With It
While reading reddit this evening, I came across this post that pretty much sums up where we could be headed.
Does anyone else worry that the internet is reorganizing global society, so that it’s like high school on a grand scale? One day, all countries as we know them will fall, replaced by major groups of likeminded people.
There will be the MySpacers, easily recognized for their brightly decorated houses with big hearts and flashy lights, always worrying about looking sexier than the neighbors until all the women literally look like clowns from so much makeup to try and compete.
Then there’s the 4channers, whose flag is a rotting animal corpse hoisted up on a pole with tattered business suit and Guy Fawkes mask, and orgies that go for all hours of the night, as people jump around humping each other in furry costumes, and little girls constantly being molested by fat dudes in bear suits.
But that’s too much to take all the time so often after they get sick of that they’ll rest over at redditville, where all the people appear to be much more sane and normal, they build working tools and have cute cats, and talk about the state of the world. But then you say something outside their worldview and suddenly the entire group turns their back on you to face someone else, and then they all dorkily laugh and watch as the people with the attention endlessly recite puns bouncing back and forth.
Then you look in the corner to see some people shouting something about thermite being found in a bush or something from hundreds of years ago, and you realize they’re all crazy so you walk away.
But everywhere you go are these groups of people, with amplified common characteristics, all able to find each other with portable devices they constantly use to communicate, causing them to condense and isolate themselves with peers.
So you just wander out into the forest, and holy shit! There’s tons of people like you, just wandering around, going, “WTF is this place?” Because even the people like you, who don’t fit in, somehow fit in, because they’re all segmented now.
Everyone appears totally happy, as they are so caught up in being with others exactly like them. But then the decades go by, and the divisions are becoming deeper, now on the genetic level, as the groups can no longer even cross-breed.
4chan becomes its own species, and spreads like a cancer, poisoning the planet until no groups can survive except those who feed on the toxic waste they spew. The planet becomes dominated by them, and transforms into a circus of insanity.
Then Jesus comes back. Oh shit it was true! But there’s no one left except 4channers. So he just says fuck it and takes them to heaven anyways and then heaven becomes hell, and the two implode into each other, and the universe is gone.
Then you wake up, and it’s all calm. You’re sitting at a computer, reading a comment on a website, trying to pass the time until work is over. It says 4Chan is on FOX news… you remember, from history books, this is how it started.
It’s up to you, to prevent the destruction of the universe, the fall of mankind. You’re the only one who can save the world… you must destroy 4chan.
