Just What is a Brooklyn-Style Pizza?
Recently, Domino’s pizza has been running ads selling their “Brooklyn-style” pizza. This got me to wondering, “what the hell is a Brooklyn pizza and why have I never heard of it before?” For Domino’s, this apparently means that your pizza will taste like cardboard, but it’s now foldable! It will also, conveniently, have 6 slices instead of 8, making the folding easier, most likely have imitation cheese, and something that looks like pepperoni on it.
Let me let you in on a secret. This is not Brooklyn or any other New York style pizza. It’s just a stupid gimmick/stunt to try to sell more pizzas from a crap pizza chain. Pizza Hut and Papa John’s also qualify as crap. None of it tastes like proper pizza.
I’m not even going to get into the fact that, outside of New York, it’s near impossible to find someone whocan make proper pizza, yet alone will sell me just a slice. Nor will I go on about how stupid people are when you are out of New York and call to have a pie delivered. They always tell you, “sorry, we only sell pizza.” Uh, duh! It’s called a pizza PIE, you dolt!
I also consider it false advertising when places advertise “New York Style Pizza.” The only thing New York about it is that it’s round! Please, stop advertising this way. You’re lying and you’re pizza usually tastes like crap and nothing like a pizza I eat in New York.
It’s like when I went to Nebraska for college. Everyone there claimed that Valentino’s was the best Italian food on the planet. Yeah, well, I guess it was the best…..for giving me exploding, burning diahrrea! Their food isn’t even close to real Italian food. I should know. I grew up with real Italian immigrants in New York and have been to Italy three times. So, please, stop telling me that places like Valentinos and The Olive Garden are real Italian food.
While we’re at it, I have found no one outside of New York who can make a proper calzone either. You DO NOT put sauce in your calzone but you must ALWAYS use ricotta.
Your pizza should always be available by the slice. You walk up, get a slice, and walk away with it in some wax paper. Grab some extra napkins for the oil that’s going to drip all over your hands. Eat it, drink your Coke, and go about your day.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go call Gino’s and have them deliver a pizza to me. Then, tomorrow, I’m going to walk over to Tony’s Pizza Pit and grab me a slice or two.
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